Fruitcake
by MajorSamanthaCarter
Summary: A series of oneshots - hopefully funny - about our favourite team... mostly D/V or S/J. T for safety. chapter 2 up! sorry if it's terrible and unedited, twas a bit of a rush job... -.-" previously titled 'Brownie'
1. Brownies

**Brownie**

Vala strode confidently into Daniels office and sat on his lap with her legs over the side of his chair as he attempted to catalogue some of the items that sg-8 had brought back from P4X-897. She had been in and out of his office all morning, annoying him in the way that only Vala could. Each time she came in his concentration level dropped down a notch; with this action it dropped three. Clearly getting some work done today was going to be harder than expected.

Next to the assorted archeological finds on his desk sat a perfect chocolate brownie, dusted in icing sugar and waiting for him to eat it once he finished his work. He had picked it up as a rare treat for himself on his way to work this morning and had been looking forward to eating it … which would be hard, of course, with Vala in her current position.

"Hello, Darling," She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him as if he was her Prince Charming or … something. It was at this point that Daniel got a bit worried.

"I love you." Vala proclaimed as she buried her face in his shoulder. Needless to say, he was a little shocked. He attempted to speak, but was cut off.

"Do you know why I love you?"

He opened his mouth to form a witty reply, but all that came out was air – he was suddenly acutely aware of how close she was.

"It's not because of your striking good looks …" She kissed his shoulder blade.

"It's not because of your perfectly toned muscles …" She ran her hands up and down his arm as she kissed his neck.

"It's not because of your wit and unrivalled intelligence…" Daniel was incapable of any movement as she kissed under his jaw.

"It's not because you're kind," Vala kissed his jaw, "caring," she kissed along his jaw line, "and compassionate," she breathed as she kissed the corner of his mouth.

"It's because…" she moved so that her mouth was almost touching his, her breath dancing with his as he gasped for air through the Vala-induced haze that had descended over his mind.

His eyes closed and his mouth opened slightly in anticipation of what she would do next – unfortunately for him, Vala had no intention of doing what he thought she would.

Her lips moved a little closer to his as she reached across him and grabbed that delectable brownie that had been teasing her _all_ morning. As Daniel moved forward to catch her lips with his, she pulled back and took the biggest bite of brownie that she could, and quickly hopped out of his lap, placed the brownie back on its plate and made her way out of the room where Daniel sat, stunned, her slightly muffled parting words ringing in his ears.

"…_you _have such good taste in treats…"

**A/N ****thankyou**** for reading, please review! Sorry if it's kinda dodgy, I haven't written in a while… ."**

**:D MSC **


	2. Dates

**A date…**

Daniel wandered the halls of the SGC with an extremely confused look on his face. Siler had just wished him luck for tonight. _Luck for what?_ was what Daniel would like to know.

As he passed Major Niles from sg-3, he nodded.

"Hi Niles. How's the wife?"

The Major grinned.

"Good, good. Oh, I heard about tonight. Have fun!" and he winked. _Winked._ Daniel didn't even respond, just kept walking with his feet on autopilot. What was going on?

Daniel was standing in the line for the commissary when an airman behind tapped him on the back. He didn't notice the first time, but the man was persistent.

"Hmmm?" Daniel turned, the ultimate 'vague' expression on his face, and saw it was airman… airman… crap. What was his name again? It wasn't Marks, no, it was…

"…tonight…"

Mackellar! That was it! Lieutenant Colonel Mackellar from sg-7!

"…lucky man, Doctor Jackson."

"Oh, thanks." Daniel turned back around and moved forward in the queue, at which point his brain caught up with his ears.

"Wait, what?"

Mackellar stared at him with a perplexed and amused look.

"I said, you're a _lucky man_ Doctor Jackson."

"Oh. Right." He was tempted to stay and ask _why_ he was lucky, but he had reached the beginning of the line. He got his food and made his way to the table, almost stopping in his tracks when he heard a wolf whistle and cries of "Nice one!", "Score!" and "Good work, Jackson!" from the other side of the commissary.

Sitting down at sg-1's usual table, Daniel leaned across the table to confer with his teammates.

"Ah, Sam? Do you happen to know what it is that I'm doing tonight?"

Samantha Carter grinned.

"Oh, that. Vala is planning on taking you out to dinner. I think there's a nice little romantic place on the corner of Smithsson and 52nd. Oh, and then she's going to take you home to her apartment and ravish you all night. Something about fluffy pink handcuffs… But that's only if you believe the rumours."

It was all Sam could do to stop herself from cracking up right there as Daniel choked on his drink, went into a coughing fit and turned an interesting shade of puce. When he finally cleared his throat, he glared and her and grumbled into his food.

"How is it that all of the SGC knows that I have a date before I do?"

**A/N look, another one!!! Two in one day… I'm on a role! 8D**

**:D MSC**


End file.
